without tears

ughh okay .. i titled this "without tears" because i confided in a young man about a lot of things in a two hour conversation and usually, the things i talked about would've made me an emotional reck .. but im fine and WITHOUT tears. im proud of myself. i have so much pain built up around my heart but i refuse to let people see me in a vulnerable state. i have pride and it gets in the way of all of that sentimental shit. i have to be strong .. if not, everything would crumble. man i remember when i thought about taking my life. ugh it was so selfish of me! i hate to even think about it. i was stupid. but i skipped that chapter in the book of my life. its still being written .. lol :) i love the fact that i have people who encourage that positivity be given to me at my darkest hour. thank you: sierra, rachael, maalik, and dj. for some reason out of all the people in my life .. you're the "newest" and you seem to have helped the most. thats why i wish the best upon all of your lives.