over the past couple of days, no one has noticed that i've been having a meltdown of some sort. seems like i have been going through HELL! but my attitude seems to be getting better. i just cant help the fact that people stress me out.
since im not working this summer, i found myself spending quality time with my mom. and usually, thats something i just dont do. i guess i thought she didnt love me as much as she used to. its a sad feeling to have when dealing with a parent. especially when you have to live with that person. it just seemed as if with the two other children she brought in this world just recently, i was the most irrelavant to her well being. but im past that. i love my mommy and my mommy loves me, even though i grew up a screw up.
well .. i might've been looking for love in ALL the WRONG places .. but i know i found it in two places for sure: in myself and GOD. He will never turn his back on me no matter how much i sin. He knows my every move and He knows the thoughts going through my head. they may not be according to His way but He forgives me because i am not perfect but i try to be a good person. i have a good heart. He knows that i am in love with a boy that surely may not love me back but it wont kill me. "what doesnt break a nigga will make a nigga." thats how i gotta look at it. just because something doesnt go my way, my world will NOT end or come crashing down. im so much better than that and my self worth is growing each day because i realize that. i gotta live for me now. a woman with one dream is a man. sooo the sky is the limit .. and there is no limit :)
from the mind of ..
J.Sekai
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